It is remarkable how easily Asami could lose her newly regained inner balance.
It takes just one very good story seen in a movie, in Japanese.
But she managed to keep her grasp on it by a resolve.
It was the story of "The town where only I am missing".
Ever since having run across it in anime Asami loved it. And last night she watched 8 episodes of the latest dorama in one go, finishing around 2 o'clock in the night.
It was the same story but still the ending of it differed a little and it came as a thrilling surprise.
As Asami watched on, she recalled why she loved this story a year ago when she saw it for the first time.
Satoru is a clever man, living a meaningless life. Why?
Why does he have this "revival" thing, and why does he feel obliged to swurve the future out of the immenent tragedy while it may cost him dear? Why not just to ignore it?
Because of the overpowering blame and feeling of failure gnawing at him. Because he has failed failed as a human for he did nothing when he ought to have done.
And with all desperateness he srives to change the past and save the lives of so many people.
He steps on a path of a hero - his favorite manga hero - and following his example growes to become a man, who can be called hero, himself.
He makes friends. He gives a great gift of friendship to those who have no one by their side. He - while never noticing - shows them what being an actual hero is. He gives them strength, and will to fight, and a saving miracle of kindness.
He lives his past again and again, he lives it to grow up again with different experience, to correct what he thinks of as HIS wrong, to become in the new future a different person.
When watching Asami thought destractedly that she would like to see it together with Yuya.
A strange thought? Yes. He is just her student. He may have a person he loves already, even though he doesn't wear a ring it may mean nothing. That being so, the thought of Yuya has become the first that comes to Asami's mind in most mornings.
If she imagined herself with him, sometimes she talked to him in her mind in English. But when she spoke important things she wanted to say them in Japanese.
"Some day I want to be able to switch to the Japanese language, to be able to think in it freely without being afraid that it would affect my work. I want to become as good as native, to understand the language, to change and grow with it. To devote myself to translation. One day I wish to be released from English.
But that doesn't mean that I don't like the English language. I love it. Owing to it I met Nathan and Gabriel. I could stay in Japan. I could meet you, Yuya. And many other students. With all my gratitude to the language and all my heartfelt desire to help my students achieve their gouals - and yours, Yuya, too - I will take English as the main language for the time being. This will be the language I think, write, speak, read in.
Untill one day when I will be able to leave English for the sake of the language which resounds in my very soul. Which I want to share with you."
Today Asami had dinner with her students from Welfare Centre.
It was fun.
She had a big bowl of salad with almost any conceivable vegetable in it, steak and rise, corn soup and fruit for desert. She was treated by everyone. It was all very tasty and she didn't overeat. It was all very good and very nice.
And it was also fun. Atsuko-san was present and she told about her Hawaii holiday, and Kazue-san told about coming hers. Bob asked her when she finished her steak, if he could explain why he had told her last time that she was lucky having come to Japan. Asami, despite all her better feelings to be polite and patient, grew involuntary wary but agreed.
According to Bob, Allah, Buddah and Confucius - if not others - were reborn in Japan. How does he know? He has read in a book. Asami asked if he has ever questioned what he read. He said no.
Well, the constructive conversation ended there, as Asami thought now looking back at their dialog. Bob says his worldview is scientific but to Asami it seemed more to be a blind belief into things that there's no way to prove at all. One person claimes to be a Confucius reincornation. You can either believe him or not. Another person writes that Japan is the next Atlantis and gods are trying to achieve with it what they couldn't with the first one. They actually fought Satan back then and lost. So she was lucky to come to this devine country, And lucky to meet Bob who has awakened to the truth.
To this Asami responded that she didn't believe in Satan for a start. That she respected Bob's view on things but she couldn't take it as it was too far from hers. When Bob asked why she had showed interest into his doctrine Asami explained that it was out of pure curiosity. She was equally interested in Kazue-san's, Misao-san's and others' worldviews. And she thought that she was equally lucky to meet them as she was lucky to meet Bob.
Judging from his looks Bob did't agree.
He persisted to expand that the goal of peole now is to develop science to go to space, the other star where the reikons and the gods are from and help those on that star. So, when Asami attempted asking what is the meaning in life fore man in Bob's view, he said first to develop science. When Asami doubted it he corrected himself and the goal for every human became to work for the good of others. But that meant facilitating science development anyway.
The story of the world creation was even more fantastic, fit to compete with the creation myths in the world regions. Gods from another star created it and while they were successful producing animals with piople they failed and brought reikons from another planet to Earth and they had hard time adjusting to life on earth but they made it and thus man came into existence.
To cut a long story short, nowe Bob has to find at least 100 followers to realize the goal of all humanity going to space to help out the dwellers of the other planet. And Asami was lucky to meet him because she obtained the access to his sacred knowledge and could help the humanity by translating Bob's work into Russian.
Here Asami said straightforewardly that she had no intention of translating religeous texts.
The topic changed. They continued to speak about hot springs, different styles and places for weddings, funerals and burying traditions in Japan and Russia. Then when everyone started to discuss in earnest where it was cheaper to get buried she butted in saying wasn't it too early to talk about that that seriously. The topic went back to marriage and she was asked if she had a boyfriend. She laughed and as usual explained that if she had she couldn't have come to Japan that easily. Then she had to make a boyfriend here. Asami smiled and suggested that be not as simple as it may sound as she would have to be approved by he partners parents, and a foreiner as she was they might doubt her capasiity to become a good wife. To this the women laught and said that the partners parents would more likely be grateful somebody was willing to marry their son and happy that there would be marrieage at all for so few people choose to live alone recently. As aAsami brought up the case of her friend Katya and her French beloved, now fiance, the point of intercultural differences and related difficultied was naturally made.
They spoke about manga, books, TV shows, Asami's university Japanese group and Confucius Centre... Asami spoke and listened. She was relatively talkative. She didn't talk too much, about as much as was necessary.
It was fun, and Asami hoped that they all had good time.
She also hoped that Bob didn't take offence - she might have been too direct and blunt, but she could hardly help it as Bob sounded slightly conceited and nationalistic.
She also hoped that Atsuko-san was going to come back to class some time and that she hadn't been skipping classes because of her teaching. Although even in the best case her teaching would be still part of the reason. Her teaching is demanding and Atsuko-san wasn't very willing to make effort.
Sould Asami make classes simpler? Unless Atsuko-san comes back, she won't know.
Last night's dinner.
Plums from Fukasawa-san, juice from Natsuki-sensei, cocoa bar from Vivian, a bunny cake from Ayumi-san, with who she had the last lesson on that day. She spoke fluently (thanks to from-morning-till-evening two days Tokyo course) and Asami felt reassured that she would be fine in the conference. As she ate the cake she wished Ayumi-san luck. She wished she had said to her when they were parting that she believed in her. But Ayumi-san might have understood it without the words being spoken.